happiness seems no more to be mine
what i deserve is sorrow and pain
tried hard to forget everything and be loved
got nothing but always a broken heart
an intermittant happiness were there
even that faded away
now only the memory remains
and those beautiful moments to cherish
even the wait used to worth waiting
as after hovering, there would be sheer bliss
but today, nothing seems as before
as everything has mutated into silence and pain
everyone should depart in the end
even we will disperse in our own way
nomatter, i didnt' worth anything to u now
but i vow that u gonna miss my love then
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
MEMORY REMAINS
The festival is back and ppl are again wandering here and there either for shopping or for the preparation of "Dashain".Lods of crowd in the market and mass of people busy in buying things and it seems the business has again flourised. Happy were all the people and the excitement were being menifested as the festival has come after long interval. It was something very good to see after several months. The environment was totally different and everyone was so happy and satisfied.
Even i decided to go for shopping as i was in need of some clothes. I called a sister of mine and we decided to meet at "kathmandu mall". As it was such a boring day, i somehow reached there and it was good to see her after several days. Now it's time to see the clothes, the most boring part and something i'm not into. Everytime i was in need of clothes, either my mom or my sister used to be there for the selection and to buy the clothes.
We started to wander in various shop but didnt' get the appropriate one which we were looking for. It reminded me of some old memories. I was missing someone who used to be always there with me and helped me in shopping . The same old market with the same old roads and the shops. Only thing that was different was the time and her presence. It was like a deja vu and i was missing her so badly. All the past memories seem to have been refreshed. Completely similar environment, same crowd but only thing missing was her. Her absense was making everything so incomplete and senseless. Though there was felicity and excitement in the crowd, nothing seemed good or enjoying for me. I was lost in my own world,recalling my beautiful past moments and bleeding from the inside for not having her by my side. My angel has gone forever, without thinking of me, never to come back. Be that the festivals or the special occasions, nothing makes sense to me and everything seems to be void. Though lotta happiness will be there, i won't be able to see and grab them happiness. As time has made me so lame and turned me out into something different than i used to be.
The same festival,for which i used to count days, doesnt' mean anything now. Infact,it adds much more pain and tears. When i see others enjoying it, i wont' get jealous but i do feel pathetic for myself. All those days to enjoy and have fun seems to have vanished forever. Life has been covered by somberness leaving the brightness and happiness way far from my reach. Though i wanna be happy, i couldnt' forget everything that happened to me. The disaster that occured in my life which made me numb and compeltely different person from rest of the world.
My lucky charm has indeed gone far away from my reach. She has really become a star which i can see far away in the sky and just feel it. I can't do anything and i really feel so helpless. In every steps of my life, i miss her like hell. Sometimes, i wish she would come back again and make everything as it used to be. If only miracle would happen and every tears would convert into the happiness and every pain into the best moment. But the wishes and dreams are never gonna fulfilled and just a way to satisfy the heart. Wherever u are, i'm missing u each and every moment and just be happy and help me out to be strong and increase my strength so that i could deal with everything that comes in my life.
Even i decided to go for shopping as i was in need of some clothes. I called a sister of mine and we decided to meet at "kathmandu mall". As it was such a boring day, i somehow reached there and it was good to see her after several days. Now it's time to see the clothes, the most boring part and something i'm not into. Everytime i was in need of clothes, either my mom or my sister used to be there for the selection and to buy the clothes.
We started to wander in various shop but didnt' get the appropriate one which we were looking for. It reminded me of some old memories. I was missing someone who used to be always there with me and helped me in shopping . The same old market with the same old roads and the shops. Only thing that was different was the time and her presence. It was like a deja vu and i was missing her so badly. All the past memories seem to have been refreshed. Completely similar environment, same crowd but only thing missing was her. Her absense was making everything so incomplete and senseless. Though there was felicity and excitement in the crowd, nothing seemed good or enjoying for me. I was lost in my own world,recalling my beautiful past moments and bleeding from the inside for not having her by my side. My angel has gone forever, without thinking of me, never to come back. Be that the festivals or the special occasions, nothing makes sense to me and everything seems to be void. Though lotta happiness will be there, i won't be able to see and grab them happiness. As time has made me so lame and turned me out into something different than i used to be.
The same festival,for which i used to count days, doesnt' mean anything now. Infact,it adds much more pain and tears. When i see others enjoying it, i wont' get jealous but i do feel pathetic for myself. All those days to enjoy and have fun seems to have vanished forever. Life has been covered by somberness leaving the brightness and happiness way far from my reach. Though i wanna be happy, i couldnt' forget everything that happened to me. The disaster that occured in my life which made me numb and compeltely different person from rest of the world.
My lucky charm has indeed gone far away from my reach. She has really become a star which i can see far away in the sky and just feel it. I can't do anything and i really feel so helpless. In every steps of my life, i miss her like hell. Sometimes, i wish she would come back again and make everything as it used to be. If only miracle would happen and every tears would convert into the happiness and every pain into the best moment. But the wishes and dreams are never gonna fulfilled and just a way to satisfy the heart. Wherever u are, i'm missing u each and every moment and just be happy and help me out to be strong and increase my strength so that i could deal with everything that comes in my life.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Exam's Over
Finally done with the exams...6 days and 5 exams without any gaps except in one subject...it was hell of a pressure..however i'm so happy to say that "I did it again"....So scared and worried, i was preparing for the exams with less hope to do well..but my hard work, it came up with the nice colors...Though my exams didn't go excellent,however, it was satisfactory.....Now there's holiday of one month..and the festival is also coming near...but i was thinking like...come on dude "30 days"..what am i gonna do to pass these days??..no plans till now...well, playing cards,couple of can beer, delicious meat items and hanging out with frens will be sufficient for them days to pass....i'm looking forward for it...i'm gonna enjoy a lot and gonna have blast...after all its "dashain and tihar" which is about to come very soon...i aint' happy to tika and puja and all...as i dont' believe and have interest on all these things...what is making me excited is "whole lotta leisure time and company of frens"..damn...i'm really excited.....well guys..."Happy Bijaya Dashami and Dipawali" to all of u...just have fun and enjoy the moment to the fullest....
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Exam's Back
6 days from now and there is my board exams. Things are very tensed and the preparation is going on be that any minutes of night or a day. Infact, it has been many days that i havent' even slept properly due to the pressure and stress of exams. Wheneva the exams approach near, i do get nervous and different kind of scary things occupy my mind and heart. There is always a question "WHAT IF??" and that question always relate to negetive thoughts.
As i can't handle the pressure of exams in the calm way, more than holding books, i wander here and there. I feel kind of insecured during the exam times. Mostly, i want to be around my loving ones. Few postive words from them, and the confidence level will rise up high. As if them words are gonna be true and that encouragement helps to deal with any kind of pressure again. Similary, these days i'm having a bad time due to exams. As most of my loving ones are far away from me, i'm missing the awful bad. I just wish i could be with them for some moment so that i could build that confidence again and deal with my exams properly. I am feeling so lonely and so left out. Missing u guys a lot and just make wishes for my betterment.
As i can't handle the pressure of exams in the calm way, more than holding books, i wander here and there. I feel kind of insecured during the exam times. Mostly, i want to be around my loving ones. Few postive words from them, and the confidence level will rise up high. As if them words are gonna be true and that encouragement helps to deal with any kind of pressure again. Similary, these days i'm having a bad time due to exams. As most of my loving ones are far away from me, i'm missing the awful bad. I just wish i could be with them for some moment so that i could build that confidence again and deal with my exams properly. I am feeling so lonely and so left out. Missing u guys a lot and just make wishes for my betterment.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
FEEL
in my anguish, i always remember u
it helps me to refrain the pain
gives me strength and power to overcome the situation
in my leisure, i always miss u
it helps me to pass the time so fast
as time flies by, cherishing the memory we shared
in my pain, wheneva i feel like crying
i wanna share my tears with u
as it makes my heart so light and relieved
when i feel low or down, ur face always comes in front of me
as if the angel has come to me
to restrain me and help me to stand again
in my happiness, i hurry to share them moments to you
as i feel that u'll be more happy than me
and it delights me to see ur charismatic smile
in every verge of life, i always need u
it seems that i've been obsessed with u
as u've already been the integral part of my life
it helps me to refrain the pain
gives me strength and power to overcome the situation
in my leisure, i always miss u
it helps me to pass the time so fast
as time flies by, cherishing the memory we shared
in my pain, wheneva i feel like crying
i wanna share my tears with u
as it makes my heart so light and relieved
when i feel low or down, ur face always comes in front of me
as if the angel has come to me
to restrain me and help me to stand again
in my happiness, i hurry to share them moments to you
as i feel that u'll be more happy than me
and it delights me to see ur charismatic smile
in every verge of life, i always need u
it seems that i've been obsessed with u
as u've already been the integral part of my life
Monday, September 17, 2007
COME AND GONE
When i first saw u
i was feeling awkward to talk
but as we talked, there was intimacy
Gradually, i started to open up myself
vent out everything that were killing me
it felt so good as never before
Initially, u used to be there every moments
standing so tall with charismatic smile in face
helping me to alleviate the pain
Thought i got a loving one in my life
who'll always be there by myside
with hands, holding me wheneva i'm about to fall
With time, things are changing
even you're going far beyond my reach
feels that i'm losing the grip
All those beautiful words and promises u made
it seems to fade away
what remains; is a scar in my heart
Same u, for whom i was ready to embrace everything
is now giving me tears and traumas
guess i dont' deserve ur love and company
Thanx for everything from the heart
for creating those beautiful memories in my life
will live with them moments, though u've gone way far
i was feeling awkward to talk
but as we talked, there was intimacy
Gradually, i started to open up myself
vent out everything that were killing me
it felt so good as never before
Initially, u used to be there every moments
standing so tall with charismatic smile in face
helping me to alleviate the pain
Thought i got a loving one in my life
who'll always be there by myside
with hands, holding me wheneva i'm about to fall
With time, things are changing
even you're going far beyond my reach
feels that i'm losing the grip
All those beautiful words and promises u made
it seems to fade away
what remains; is a scar in my heart
Same u, for whom i was ready to embrace everything
is now giving me tears and traumas
guess i dont' deserve ur love and company
Thanx for everything from the heart
for creating those beautiful memories in my life
will live with them moments, though u've gone way far
Friday, August 24, 2007
WORD
OH LIFE...it's so big and we get to go thru whole lotta people.Even i got along with lotta people and was in relationship with them.Some called me brother while other called me a good fren.Days passed by and it has already been 21 years that i've been confronting with people. AS a matter of fact, still i couldnt' figure out;" Who the hell are PEOPLE and their WORDS?".
In this journey, i get to see whole lotta people with love and care as well as those people who happened to be envy of me. I aint' so suprised as this world is the mixture of different kind of people with different kinda attitude. Different people passed out the comments and lotta sweet words. The same words, they were so confusing. People did say them to me but i always thought if they mean them words or they were spitting out just like that.
As for me, i do respect the words. I dont' just say the words or say i wont' make the words so cheap. When some words come out of me, i mean it from my heart. What i believe is that word is so powerful and works a lot. But we shouldn't ever forget that the words always have two meanings. IF some mere words can establish a rocking relationship then again the same words can distort the very rocking relationship. All i wanna say is that, wheneva one says something that it should considered several times.
The other thing is that, only giving some words is only the half done. When u give some words then the other step is to fulfill them. Them words are not the true words if they are not fulfilled. If people think they are not capable to fulfill them words, better stay quiet. So, as the words come out from anyone , he/she should be sure that the words are gonna be real. Mere words will be meaningless if someone aint' capable to make it real. People should possess that capacity can turn out every of their words into something real or they better save them words for the best time when they'll be capable. The thing is that, save words instead of letting it go to waste. As we all know that, words means a lot in this world.
In this journey, i get to see whole lotta people with love and care as well as those people who happened to be envy of me. I aint' so suprised as this world is the mixture of different kind of people with different kinda attitude. Different people passed out the comments and lotta sweet words. The same words, they were so confusing. People did say them to me but i always thought if they mean them words or they were spitting out just like that.
As for me, i do respect the words. I dont' just say the words or say i wont' make the words so cheap. When some words come out of me, i mean it from my heart. What i believe is that word is so powerful and works a lot. But we shouldn't ever forget that the words always have two meanings. IF some mere words can establish a rocking relationship then again the same words can distort the very rocking relationship. All i wanna say is that, wheneva one says something that it should considered several times.
The other thing is that, only giving some words is only the half done. When u give some words then the other step is to fulfill them. Them words are not the true words if they are not fulfilled. If people think they are not capable to fulfill them words, better stay quiet. So, as the words come out from anyone , he/she should be sure that the words are gonna be real. Mere words will be meaningless if someone aint' capable to make it real. People should possess that capacity can turn out every of their words into something real or they better save them words for the best time when they'll be capable. The thing is that, save words instead of letting it go to waste. As we all know that, words means a lot in this world.
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