happiness seems no more to be mine
what i deserve is sorrow and pain
tried hard to forget everything and be loved
got nothing but always a broken heart
an intermittant happiness were there
even that faded away
now only the memory remains
and those beautiful moments to cherish
even the wait used to worth waiting
as after hovering, there would be sheer bliss
but today, nothing seems as before
as everything has mutated into silence and pain
everyone should depart in the end
even we will disperse in our own way
nomatter, i didnt' worth anything to u now
but i vow that u gonna miss my love then
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
MEMORY REMAINS
The festival is back and ppl are again wandering here and there either for shopping or for the preparation of "Dashain".Lods of crowd in the market and mass of people busy in buying things and it seems the business has again flourised. Happy were all the people and the excitement were being menifested as the festival has come after long interval. It was something very good to see after several months. The environment was totally different and everyone was so happy and satisfied.
Even i decided to go for shopping as i was in need of some clothes. I called a sister of mine and we decided to meet at "kathmandu mall". As it was such a boring day, i somehow reached there and it was good to see her after several days. Now it's time to see the clothes, the most boring part and something i'm not into. Everytime i was in need of clothes, either my mom or my sister used to be there for the selection and to buy the clothes.
We started to wander in various shop but didnt' get the appropriate one which we were looking for. It reminded me of some old memories. I was missing someone who used to be always there with me and helped me in shopping . The same old market with the same old roads and the shops. Only thing that was different was the time and her presence. It was like a deja vu and i was missing her so badly. All the past memories seem to have been refreshed. Completely similar environment, same crowd but only thing missing was her. Her absense was making everything so incomplete and senseless. Though there was felicity and excitement in the crowd, nothing seemed good or enjoying for me. I was lost in my own world,recalling my beautiful past moments and bleeding from the inside for not having her by my side. My angel has gone forever, without thinking of me, never to come back. Be that the festivals or the special occasions, nothing makes sense to me and everything seems to be void. Though lotta happiness will be there, i won't be able to see and grab them happiness. As time has made me so lame and turned me out into something different than i used to be.
The same festival,for which i used to count days, doesnt' mean anything now. Infact,it adds much more pain and tears. When i see others enjoying it, i wont' get jealous but i do feel pathetic for myself. All those days to enjoy and have fun seems to have vanished forever. Life has been covered by somberness leaving the brightness and happiness way far from my reach. Though i wanna be happy, i couldnt' forget everything that happened to me. The disaster that occured in my life which made me numb and compeltely different person from rest of the world.
My lucky charm has indeed gone far away from my reach. She has really become a star which i can see far away in the sky and just feel it. I can't do anything and i really feel so helpless. In every steps of my life, i miss her like hell. Sometimes, i wish she would come back again and make everything as it used to be. If only miracle would happen and every tears would convert into the happiness and every pain into the best moment. But the wishes and dreams are never gonna fulfilled and just a way to satisfy the heart. Wherever u are, i'm missing u each and every moment and just be happy and help me out to be strong and increase my strength so that i could deal with everything that comes in my life.
Even i decided to go for shopping as i was in need of some clothes. I called a sister of mine and we decided to meet at "kathmandu mall". As it was such a boring day, i somehow reached there and it was good to see her after several days. Now it's time to see the clothes, the most boring part and something i'm not into. Everytime i was in need of clothes, either my mom or my sister used to be there for the selection and to buy the clothes.
We started to wander in various shop but didnt' get the appropriate one which we were looking for. It reminded me of some old memories. I was missing someone who used to be always there with me and helped me in shopping . The same old market with the same old roads and the shops. Only thing that was different was the time and her presence. It was like a deja vu and i was missing her so badly. All the past memories seem to have been refreshed. Completely similar environment, same crowd but only thing missing was her. Her absense was making everything so incomplete and senseless. Though there was felicity and excitement in the crowd, nothing seemed good or enjoying for me. I was lost in my own world,recalling my beautiful past moments and bleeding from the inside for not having her by my side. My angel has gone forever, without thinking of me, never to come back. Be that the festivals or the special occasions, nothing makes sense to me and everything seems to be void. Though lotta happiness will be there, i won't be able to see and grab them happiness. As time has made me so lame and turned me out into something different than i used to be.
The same festival,for which i used to count days, doesnt' mean anything now. Infact,it adds much more pain and tears. When i see others enjoying it, i wont' get jealous but i do feel pathetic for myself. All those days to enjoy and have fun seems to have vanished forever. Life has been covered by somberness leaving the brightness and happiness way far from my reach. Though i wanna be happy, i couldnt' forget everything that happened to me. The disaster that occured in my life which made me numb and compeltely different person from rest of the world.
My lucky charm has indeed gone far away from my reach. She has really become a star which i can see far away in the sky and just feel it. I can't do anything and i really feel so helpless. In every steps of my life, i miss her like hell. Sometimes, i wish she would come back again and make everything as it used to be. If only miracle would happen and every tears would convert into the happiness and every pain into the best moment. But the wishes and dreams are never gonna fulfilled and just a way to satisfy the heart. Wherever u are, i'm missing u each and every moment and just be happy and help me out to be strong and increase my strength so that i could deal with everything that comes in my life.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Exam's Over
Finally done with the exams...6 days and 5 exams without any gaps except in one subject...it was hell of a pressure..however i'm so happy to say that "I did it again"....So scared and worried, i was preparing for the exams with less hope to do well..but my hard work, it came up with the nice colors...Though my exams didn't go excellent,however, it was satisfactory.....Now there's holiday of one month..and the festival is also coming near...but i was thinking like...come on dude "30 days"..what am i gonna do to pass these days??..no plans till now...well, playing cards,couple of can beer, delicious meat items and hanging out with frens will be sufficient for them days to pass....i'm looking forward for it...i'm gonna enjoy a lot and gonna have blast...after all its "dashain and tihar" which is about to come very soon...i aint' happy to tika and puja and all...as i dont' believe and have interest on all these things...what is making me excited is "whole lotta leisure time and company of frens"..damn...i'm really excited.....well guys..."Happy Bijaya Dashami and Dipawali" to all of u...just have fun and enjoy the moment to the fullest....
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