Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Exam's Over
Finally done with the exams...6 days and 5 exams without any gaps except in one subject...it was hell of a pressure..however i'm so happy to say that "I did it again"....So scared and worried, i was preparing for the exams with less hope to do well..but my hard work, it came up with the nice colors...Though my exams didn't go excellent,however, it was satisfactory.....Now there's holiday of one month..and the festival is also coming near...but i was thinking like...come on dude "30 days"..what am i gonna do to pass these days??..no plans till now...well, playing cards,couple of can beer, delicious meat items and hanging out with frens will be sufficient for them days to pass....i'm looking forward for it...i'm gonna enjoy a lot and gonna have blast...after all its "dashain and tihar" which is about to come very soon...i aint' happy to tika and puja and all...as i dont' believe and have interest on all these things...what is making me excited is "whole lotta leisure time and company of frens"..damn...i'm really excited.....well guys..."Happy Bijaya Dashami and Dipawali" to all of u...just have fun and enjoy the moment to the fullest....
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Exam's Back
6 days from now and there is my board exams. Things are very tensed and the preparation is going on be that any minutes of night or a day. Infact, it has been many days that i havent' even slept properly due to the pressure and stress of exams. Wheneva the exams approach near, i do get nervous and different kind of scary things occupy my mind and heart. There is always a question "WHAT IF??" and that question always relate to negetive thoughts.
As i can't handle the pressure of exams in the calm way, more than holding books, i wander here and there. I feel kind of insecured during the exam times. Mostly, i want to be around my loving ones. Few postive words from them, and the confidence level will rise up high. As if them words are gonna be true and that encouragement helps to deal with any kind of pressure again. Similary, these days i'm having a bad time due to exams. As most of my loving ones are far away from me, i'm missing the awful bad. I just wish i could be with them for some moment so that i could build that confidence again and deal with my exams properly. I am feeling so lonely and so left out. Missing u guys a lot and just make wishes for my betterment.
As i can't handle the pressure of exams in the calm way, more than holding books, i wander here and there. I feel kind of insecured during the exam times. Mostly, i want to be around my loving ones. Few postive words from them, and the confidence level will rise up high. As if them words are gonna be true and that encouragement helps to deal with any kind of pressure again. Similary, these days i'm having a bad time due to exams. As most of my loving ones are far away from me, i'm missing the awful bad. I just wish i could be with them for some moment so that i could build that confidence again and deal with my exams properly. I am feeling so lonely and so left out. Missing u guys a lot and just make wishes for my betterment.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
FEEL
in my anguish, i always remember u
it helps me to refrain the pain
gives me strength and power to overcome the situation
in my leisure, i always miss u
it helps me to pass the time so fast
as time flies by, cherishing the memory we shared
in my pain, wheneva i feel like crying
i wanna share my tears with u
as it makes my heart so light and relieved
when i feel low or down, ur face always comes in front of me
as if the angel has come to me
to restrain me and help me to stand again
in my happiness, i hurry to share them moments to you
as i feel that u'll be more happy than me
and it delights me to see ur charismatic smile
in every verge of life, i always need u
it seems that i've been obsessed with u
as u've already been the integral part of my life
it helps me to refrain the pain
gives me strength and power to overcome the situation
in my leisure, i always miss u
it helps me to pass the time so fast
as time flies by, cherishing the memory we shared
in my pain, wheneva i feel like crying
i wanna share my tears with u
as it makes my heart so light and relieved
when i feel low or down, ur face always comes in front of me
as if the angel has come to me
to restrain me and help me to stand again
in my happiness, i hurry to share them moments to you
as i feel that u'll be more happy than me
and it delights me to see ur charismatic smile
in every verge of life, i always need u
it seems that i've been obsessed with u
as u've already been the integral part of my life
Monday, September 17, 2007
COME AND GONE
When i first saw u
i was feeling awkward to talk
but as we talked, there was intimacy
Gradually, i started to open up myself
vent out everything that were killing me
it felt so good as never before
Initially, u used to be there every moments
standing so tall with charismatic smile in face
helping me to alleviate the pain
Thought i got a loving one in my life
who'll always be there by myside
with hands, holding me wheneva i'm about to fall
With time, things are changing
even you're going far beyond my reach
feels that i'm losing the grip
All those beautiful words and promises u made
it seems to fade away
what remains; is a scar in my heart
Same u, for whom i was ready to embrace everything
is now giving me tears and traumas
guess i dont' deserve ur love and company
Thanx for everything from the heart
for creating those beautiful memories in my life
will live with them moments, though u've gone way far
i was feeling awkward to talk
but as we talked, there was intimacy
Gradually, i started to open up myself
vent out everything that were killing me
it felt so good as never before
Initially, u used to be there every moments
standing so tall with charismatic smile in face
helping me to alleviate the pain
Thought i got a loving one in my life
who'll always be there by myside
with hands, holding me wheneva i'm about to fall
With time, things are changing
even you're going far beyond my reach
feels that i'm losing the grip
All those beautiful words and promises u made
it seems to fade away
what remains; is a scar in my heart
Same u, for whom i was ready to embrace everything
is now giving me tears and traumas
guess i dont' deserve ur love and company
Thanx for everything from the heart
for creating those beautiful memories in my life
will live with them moments, though u've gone way far
Friday, August 24, 2007
WORD
OH LIFE...it's so big and we get to go thru whole lotta people.Even i got along with lotta people and was in relationship with them.Some called me brother while other called me a good fren.Days passed by and it has already been 21 years that i've been confronting with people. AS a matter of fact, still i couldnt' figure out;" Who the hell are PEOPLE and their WORDS?".
In this journey, i get to see whole lotta people with love and care as well as those people who happened to be envy of me. I aint' so suprised as this world is the mixture of different kind of people with different kinda attitude. Different people passed out the comments and lotta sweet words. The same words, they were so confusing. People did say them to me but i always thought if they mean them words or they were spitting out just like that.
As for me, i do respect the words. I dont' just say the words or say i wont' make the words so cheap. When some words come out of me, i mean it from my heart. What i believe is that word is so powerful and works a lot. But we shouldn't ever forget that the words always have two meanings. IF some mere words can establish a rocking relationship then again the same words can distort the very rocking relationship. All i wanna say is that, wheneva one says something that it should considered several times.
The other thing is that, only giving some words is only the half done. When u give some words then the other step is to fulfill them. Them words are not the true words if they are not fulfilled. If people think they are not capable to fulfill them words, better stay quiet. So, as the words come out from anyone , he/she should be sure that the words are gonna be real. Mere words will be meaningless if someone aint' capable to make it real. People should possess that capacity can turn out every of their words into something real or they better save them words for the best time when they'll be capable. The thing is that, save words instead of letting it go to waste. As we all know that, words means a lot in this world.
In this journey, i get to see whole lotta people with love and care as well as those people who happened to be envy of me. I aint' so suprised as this world is the mixture of different kind of people with different kinda attitude. Different people passed out the comments and lotta sweet words. The same words, they were so confusing. People did say them to me but i always thought if they mean them words or they were spitting out just like that.
As for me, i do respect the words. I dont' just say the words or say i wont' make the words so cheap. When some words come out of me, i mean it from my heart. What i believe is that word is so powerful and works a lot. But we shouldn't ever forget that the words always have two meanings. IF some mere words can establish a rocking relationship then again the same words can distort the very rocking relationship. All i wanna say is that, wheneva one says something that it should considered several times.
The other thing is that, only giving some words is only the half done. When u give some words then the other step is to fulfill them. Them words are not the true words if they are not fulfilled. If people think they are not capable to fulfill them words, better stay quiet. So, as the words come out from anyone , he/she should be sure that the words are gonna be real. Mere words will be meaningless if someone aint' capable to make it real. People should possess that capacity can turn out every of their words into something real or they better save them words for the best time when they'll be capable. The thing is that, save words instead of letting it go to waste. As we all know that, words means a lot in this world.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
BIRTHDAY
When i woke up and saw outside the window, it was a gloomy morning. The hidden blue sky as covered with the cluster of clouds. No bright sun but it was a dim and cool day. The special day of mine i.e. mine "birthday". Unlike before, there were no any plans. I was just missing someone and was lost in the memories. I was happy to surf in the past memories and the other moment i even cried as my lucky star was not with me and has gone forever. Few minutes later, there was a knock at the door. As i opened it, there were my parents to wish me birthday. Again, i got a call from my sister who is there in States. It was so nice talking with her for several minutes. Though lot of calls and wishes were there for me, I could still see the big void. But nothing the differences as I couldn’t' do anything to mend that void.
With wet eyes, the very day started. After finishing the daily chores, i got a call from my friend. I was informed that we got to meet in the field for the left over work as we were making some small documentary about dalit people. As i was getting ready, i heard a bell and my friend was there to pick me up. Finally, we reached to the field with cameras and whole lot of zeal for the very work. Though it has already been two weeks we've been working in that field, still there was whole lotta courage and enthusiasm among us. We were taking some small steps for the development or upliftment of that small deprived group of people i.e DALIT. Especially, I was very happy for that work as I’ve never done any kind of social work. That work, which we were doing, was blend of fun, pain, tears and frustrations. And due to the very work, it made me realize that i have so many privileges and opportunities to do something in my life.
When i first stepped into that locality, it was like stepping in the whole new world. I felt like i've been living a royal life when i compared myself to them people. Same people, who were relying upon the plastics and few wood as their home. The same home which can be crumbled by the strong winds or furious rain. I was like totally shocked when i saw their lives. Their way of living and the diet they were having, it was so painful to see. I felt so helpless for not being able to do anything for them. All i could do was being involved in the making of that documentary in the hope that people get aware of this small group of destitute people. These people were not only cheated by their fate but they were also the victim of government apathy and the laws of the country.
First time in my life, i celebrated my birthday in such a nice way. Though there were not any specific plans, but the birthday celebration was so awesome. I bought a packet of chocolates and I disseminated them among the dalit kids. There were more than happy to get that which were being manifested in their eyes. They wished me a birthday and we sang and danced. We captured them moment in the camera as well. It was such a beautiful experience to be with the underprivileged kids with whole lotta happiness among them. And i was the reason of their happiness; my birthday, chocolates and the camera. Even the small reason brought whole lotta happiness among the kids. They were lost among themselves enjoying the moments by dancing, singing and laughing and forgetting every pain that they were going thru for some moments. At that moment, i wished for their upliftment and happiness forever in their lives. This moment shall always be treasured in my life and shall never be forgotten ever in my life.
With wet eyes, the very day started. After finishing the daily chores, i got a call from my friend. I was informed that we got to meet in the field for the left over work as we were making some small documentary about dalit people. As i was getting ready, i heard a bell and my friend was there to pick me up. Finally, we reached to the field with cameras and whole lot of zeal for the very work. Though it has already been two weeks we've been working in that field, still there was whole lotta courage and enthusiasm among us. We were taking some small steps for the development or upliftment of that small deprived group of people i.e DALIT. Especially, I was very happy for that work as I’ve never done any kind of social work. That work, which we were doing, was blend of fun, pain, tears and frustrations. And due to the very work, it made me realize that i have so many privileges and opportunities to do something in my life.
When i first stepped into that locality, it was like stepping in the whole new world. I felt like i've been living a royal life when i compared myself to them people. Same people, who were relying upon the plastics and few wood as their home. The same home which can be crumbled by the strong winds or furious rain. I was like totally shocked when i saw their lives. Their way of living and the diet they were having, it was so painful to see. I felt so helpless for not being able to do anything for them. All i could do was being involved in the making of that documentary in the hope that people get aware of this small group of destitute people. These people were not only cheated by their fate but they were also the victim of government apathy and the laws of the country.
First time in my life, i celebrated my birthday in such a nice way. Though there were not any specific plans, but the birthday celebration was so awesome. I bought a packet of chocolates and I disseminated them among the dalit kids. There were more than happy to get that which were being manifested in their eyes. They wished me a birthday and we sang and danced. We captured them moment in the camera as well. It was such a beautiful experience to be with the underprivileged kids with whole lotta happiness among them. And i was the reason of their happiness; my birthday, chocolates and the camera. Even the small reason brought whole lotta happiness among the kids. They were lost among themselves enjoying the moments by dancing, singing and laughing and forgetting every pain that they were going thru for some moments. At that moment, i wished for their upliftment and happiness forever in their lives. This moment shall always be treasured in my life and shall never be forgotten ever in my life.
Friday, August 3, 2007
NO WAY OUT
no way to express the pain
feelings occupying and peircing the heart, making it heavy
still tolerating the pain
living life through the dark
life full of sadness and pain
no hope to overcome the problems
adapting the situation is the only way out
since there is fear to trust anyone
coz' the dreadful colors of people has already been seen
feeling so aloof, livin' life in hell
living alone in sadness though surrounded by crowd
since there ain't sense of lovingness in anyone
as everyone is so selfish just living for their own sake
noone doesnt' ever care nor intrested to share the pain
just lettin' me burn alone
couldnt' draw anything out of this life
and it seems like burden to live
just livin' for other's sake
with a hope that endin' will come soon
and would be much happy to be free from this world
feelings occupying and peircing the heart, making it heavy
still tolerating the pain
living life through the dark
life full of sadness and pain
no hope to overcome the problems
adapting the situation is the only way out
since there is fear to trust anyone
coz' the dreadful colors of people has already been seen
feeling so aloof, livin' life in hell
living alone in sadness though surrounded by crowd
since there ain't sense of lovingness in anyone
as everyone is so selfish just living for their own sake
noone doesnt' ever care nor intrested to share the pain
just lettin' me burn alone
couldnt' draw anything out of this life
and it seems like burden to live
just livin' for other's sake
with a hope that endin' will come soon
and would be much happy to be free from this world
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